Post Thanksgiving 2012

I just came back from a three day sleepover at my daughter's house in Perris, California.  It was an extended Thanksgiving Day dinner party.  Then, I came back to my sick cat.  He has been throwing up for a sold week now.  He constantly sits at his bowl and cries for more food yet his bowl is full of food.  He just licks the wet food until it's basically dry and drinks water.  I think he needs to have another ultrasound of his tummy.  His digestive system is ... well, something is wrong with it.

So, I wanted to know if he was continuing to throw up because I could have taken him to the vet on Friday.  But PetPals text-ed me that he ate and was a "happy guy" with "no barf."  So, I thought cool.  Then Saturday morning  I couldn't get the company to text me back about how Jabez was doing and so I hung out with my daughter and her family.  I had a great time but I had forgotten all my medicine at home.  So, no thyroid pill, no antidepressants, no anti-inflammatory or pain pill.  I felt all out of sorts and nervous.  I knew part of it, if not all, was due to my sudden stoppage of the ADs.  You're not supposed to cold turkey the anti-depressant medication.  There are side effects with sudden withdrawal and I didn't know if I was having that or something was really wrong back at home with Jabez.

Turns out, the big guy is still having problems.  He  may not have thrown up in the living room, dining room or kitchen, but he puked all over his bed in the office.  Plus, he puked at least once in the hall and three times in my bedroom.  He keeps getting on my lap, which has gotten considerably smaller of late, and he's kind of overwhelming.  If I'm sitting on the couch, he wants to be in my lap.

 So, NOW, it's 11:00 pm on Saturday night I know that what he needs, or rather what the vet will say, he needs an ultrasound of his tummy.  I can tell his stomach hurts him.

If it's his time to go then I will be very sad and dread making the decision to put him down or have surgery done.  I should have had that tumor removed way back in 2010 but I didn't have the money back then.  I think it's invaded his digestive tract.  So, maybe I need to stop thinking about putting him down and just pay whatever the surgery costs, or at least negotiate the cost.

We've gt a 24-hour veterinary hospital in San Diego.  I called and they are really busy right now so let's see how we make it through the night.  Poor baby.

Better to wait til morning at home instead of in a cold hospital ER.   I don't want him to suffer any more but I'm pretty wasted right now after the long drive and running around with my grand-kids for the past 3 days.  I did all the laundry after I got home, including his bedding, and everything he has thrown up on in the past week.

I think I need to get some sleep and call it a day. My bed is calling me now.

Good night.

~godstrongpatty

Thanksgiving 2012

I decided to switch purses for Thanksgiving.  It’s part of my “outfit”.  It’s funny that I automatically think of what I’m going to wear whenever I know I’m going somewhere.  Anyway… I found my old cell phone case and it is PERFECT for my new iPhone.  It’s got an outside ID holder for my bus pass, and slots  for credit cards and a little pouch where I can put my stamps and coins.  It goes with the purse because it’s orange and my purse is a darker orange, like a pumpkin color. 

I’m so happy because the little case I bought (from Korea!) didn’t have enough space for all my  IDs, credit cards and bus pass.  I’m just bummed that I forgot about the orange cell phone purse I have had for  at least ten years and bought the case from Korea.  I'm not sure what it will cost to return it but really not sure if it's worth the bother.  It was less than $20.

So… I didn’t start this piece with the intention of talking about my silly little purse.  The point is that I found something, well, a lot of things, while I was switching from one purse to another.  I found this little paper that had all these, basically, negative affirmations, but titled “False Beliefs.”

I must meet certain standards to feel good about myself (the Performance Trap).

I must be approved by certain others to feel good about myself (Approval Addict)

Those who fall (including myself) are unworthy of love and deserve to be punished.  (Blame Game)

I am what I am I cannot change. I am hopeless. (Shame)

And I thought, “What?” Why was I carrying around these negative phrases?  Then I  turned the card over.  There were positive affirmations on the other side.  So, the point of all this is that if I fill my mind with the positive instead of the negative,  my thought life will be much more peaceful.  Maybe this way I can show the love of God to everyone instead of the uptight, neurotic mess I usually am.

So those “false beliefs” become:

I am therefore completely forgiven by and fully pleasing to the Father.  I no longer have to be perfect.  Romans 5:1

I am totally accepted by God.  I no longer have to fear rejection.  Colossians 1:21-22

I am deeply loved by God.  I no longer have to fear punishment or punish others.

1 John 4:9-11

I am a new creation in Christ.  I have been made brand-new and complete in Him and no longer need to experience the pain of shame.  John 3:3-6

Today. I am thankful for my loving, heavenly Father who watches over me and holds me, with all my issues and shortcomings, in His holy hands. 

Praise the Lord!