Ever since I moved to south east San Diego and undergone a transformation from middle class professional to unemployed disabled person I can imagine how some of these people's lives are degraded by crime and mischief. Because I no longer have the luxury of owning my own washer and dryer I have to use the condo complex's laundry rooms. They had recently put in all new units last year and installed new granite counter tops and new floors in some of the laundry rooms. It was really sweet and I was happy at least that I had a nice clean laundry room to do my laundry in. However, the "nice clean laundry room" has now been vandalized at least twice by taggers. The compartments on the washers for all the laundry solutions are now grodey with caked-on liquid and powder detergents, and the bleach and softner dispensers are also caked with dried on gunk.
This happening at the complex sparked a memory of some quote like poverty is oppression or the oppression of the poverty...something like that I'll have to google it... but I suddenly got it. When you are down on your luck, and basically financially bankrupt, what can you do or think when some turd vandalizes your laundry room? It is very depressing. When no one cares enough to clean up the laundry room, when maintenance staff is reduced, when people are purposefully harming the environment in which they live, how do you stay positive? You just look away, clean up what you can, call the property management company, mind your own business and keep to yourself.
And more importantly can you ever get out of it? It's different when this bankrupt state happens and you still have a job. At least, an official bankruptcy case will wipe out any financial obligations you may have that are weighing you down and keeping you from moving on. However, when your bankrupt state has occurred because of IRS tax debt, it feels like the government does not care whether you live on the street or not. The government gives you unemployment benefits but taxes the hell out of those too. It is such a vicious cycle that I thought I was forever out of since 1993.
Now I'm back in it deeper than ever. Instead of socking away those hundreds of thousands of dollars I made as computer programmer, I spent it all on "stuff". Stuff that now I'm slowing trying to sell just to make ends meet.
Seriously, what am I going to do?????
Dear God, please help me out of this mess.
